Why Does My Cat Loaf? 4 Reasons for This Behavior, As Revealed By an Actual Cat

To ask “Why does my cat loaf?” is to swing the bat of inquiry at one of nature’s most enigmatic pitches. Cats are mysterious creatures. The domesticated cat has been living with humans for 10,000 years, starting in Turkey and spreading to the rest of the world. Yet after all of that time, there’s still a lot we don’t know about them. Why is there a gap of 7 million years with no cat fossils in North America? Is a cat solid or liquid? Why don’t they let us hug them?

What Is Cat Loafing? Isn’t Loafing All That Cats Do Really?

The phenomenon of “cat loafing” is one of those feline mysteries that’s as cute as it is baffling. The term doesn’t refer to cats hanging around doing nothing, which would be indistinguishable from typical cat behavior. Rather, it describes a cat who’s lying in a particular position: on its belly, all legs tucked invisibly underneath them, tail wrapped along its body. The very memeable result is that the cat looks uncannily like a loaf of bread. Variations of this posture include the partial loaf (one or both elbows sticking out) and the Sphynx pose (front legs extended, as in the famous Egyptian monument, but with the nose still attached to the face).

A Triumph of Investigative Purrnalism

Knowing how difficult it is to apply the scientific method to cats—even Schrodinger only confused people when he tried it—we felt the best way to get to the bottom of the cat loaf phenomenon (or loafomenon, or phenomeownon) would be to go to the source. So after much effort, we managed to make contact with an informer willing to give us the inside story. To protect his anonymity, he’s going by the alias “Mewlius Ceaser.” The rest of this article presents Mr. Ceaser’s accounting of the reasons behind this behavior, in his own words, as told to the author off record. (Don’t be surprised if we win the Mewlitzer Prize for this one.)

We Don’t Loaf to Make You Giggle, You Weirdos

Hello, Mewlious Ceaser here. Before I go any further, I want to be clear that we cats don’t take up the so-called “loaf” position just to entertain you loud, clumsy giant types. I know that you’re obsessed with us, and that just being around us lowers your heart rate and blood pressure (you’re welcome). And it’s not that we don’t like you; your own science shows that we form bonds with humans and can read human emotional signals. But the loafing thing is just a position that works for us in certain situations, NBD. Like when you guys do that thing where you bend at the waist, lean the top half of your body against something, and let your back legs dangle over the edge. So weird.

Sometimes We Loaf to Stay Warm

I guess because we have a higher body temperature than you do — we run at about 99-102.5 degrees F— we cats sometimes wish the room was a little warmer even though you cluelessly think it’s perfectly comfortable. Until we cats gain control of the thermostat—which we’re working on, don’t tell anyone—settling into a nice loaf is a good way for us to retain heat. In the outdoor days of our wild ancestors, before we had you people building houses for us, keeping warm wasn’t always easy. So we still have an instinct to preserve our body heat when we can. (By the way, I’m not crazy about the term “loaf,” but I’ll use it here since you can’t pronounce our word for it, “rrmaarrrurroourur**##ing”)

We Loaf When We’re Relaxed

Honestly, you should try it sometime. Loafing is really comfortable, and sometimes that’s all there is to it. The position takes the pressure off our legs and paws, and it’s usually a sign that we’re feeling safe and secure. Occasionally it feels so comfortable that our heads nod forward onto the floor and we fall asleep. Humans seem to find this hilarious but whatev. The fact that unlike us, you sleep less than 12 hours a day shows that you really know nothing about the best positions to sleep in.

We Loaf To Be Ready for Action

Look, cats have duties and responsibilities that you can’t possibly understand. We might have to take off at a moment’s notice to chase a mouse or help a witch cast a spell. In the loaf position, we can be relaxed and comfortable but also pay attention to everything around us. We’re ready to make a move if we have to, though we think probably we won’t. But we might, so don’t try to predict us. Plus our belly is protected…remember, we decide when you’re going to pet our belly, if ever. Not the other way around. And yes that is where our softest fur is. Deal with it.

Sometimes We Loaf if We’re Hurt

Not to freak you out, because generally, a loafing cat is comfortable and content. But there are times when we assume this position because we’re in pain. Sitting this way can relieve back stress, help abdominal pain, or protect an injured paw or limb or an ingrown nail. So watch for loafing that’s noticeably more frequent than usual, or accompanied by changes in the cat’s activity level, appetite, litterbox behavior, or gait.

[At this point, the interview concluded as Mewlius Ceaser suddenly licked the end of his tail and ran out of the room for no reason.]

The photo featured at the top of this post is © iStock.com/vovashevchuk