Cutest Dogs in the World: Boston Terrier vs. Maltese

To be cute, you have to be small, clumsy, make adorable sounds, and turn your head at just the right angle when you gaze into your best friend’s eyes. Yes, whether we’re talking about people or puppies, being cute is hard work! Two breeds that have cuteness down to an art form are the Boston terrier and the Maltese. Choosing between them would be almost impossible. Using the latest breakthrough scientific approach, we’re going to determine once and for all which breed is cuter, in the epic battle of Boston terrier vs. Maltese.

The Totally Scientific Measure of Cuteness

Dog owners are capable of viciously defending their dog. And as a general rule of thumb, the smaller the dog, the more vicious the owner, amiright? So, we definitely don’t want to wade into these waters (and anger the dog-loving masses) without using a thoroughly scientific method. We’re committed to facts and data, not opinions.

Except for the opinion of one teenage girl. Because if there’s any segment of the population that’s an authority on cuteness, it’s teenage girls. And since we don’t have access to all the teenage girls in the country, we chose just one to accurately represent them all. We asked her, “how do you know an animal is cute?” Here’s what she said:

• Cute animals are awkward. Their eyes are too big, and they have gangly or stubby arms and legs.
• Cute animals are lovable. They like being cuddled and kissed.
• Cute animals get into trouble, but not really bad trouble. They need help getting out of predicaments.

And that is how we discovered that the three indisputable scientific criteria of cuteness are: awkwardness, loveableness, and mischievousness.

Who’s the Most Awkward?

Boston terriers, with their black and white markings, looks like they’re dressed in tuxedos. Their coat can be either black, brindle, or seal (dark brown). This breed has been nicknamed “The American Gentleman” not only for their coat appearance but for their polite, dignified behavior. The Boston terrier also has some good raw materials of awkwardness: the stubby little muzzle, boopable button nose, and perky bat-like ears. But again and again, the word that comes to mind about Boston terriers is dignified, not awkward.

Now imagine a Maltese, with its long, straight, silky, snow-white coat. Mind you, this glamour doesn’t come without effort. A Maltese needs daily brushing and combing to keep that coat straight and untangled. They also need regular bathing and conditioning to look like supermodels. If their hair grows all the way down to the floor, they look like little clouds gliding along, with very little hint of the furiously pumping legs underneath. This dog just appears to have itself together.

The overall effect of these two breeds, side by side, is Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, ready to glide across the floor effortlessly in an intricate, flowing dance. So, surprisingly enough, both the Boston terrier and the Maltese fail the awkward part of the cuteness test! Call them dignified, elegant, or regal, but they aren’t awkward. And if that were the only part of our test, we would have to say, according to our cutting-edge 21st-century science, sorry, but they both lose.

Who’s the Most Lovey-Dovey?

So just how loveable are the Boston terrier and the Maltese? And which one likes cuddles more? For this one, we consulted the American Kennel Club and found that both the Boston terrier and the Maltese rank the maximum “5” in lovey-doviness. Boston terriers are described as “people-oriented,” and “having a natural gift for comedy.” The Maltese is described as a “playful” and “charming” companion dog that likes to make friends of all ages.

We went on to see how they do with children. While the Boston terrier still gets all 5 points, the Maltese drops down to a 3. What’s up with that, Maltese? It’s still a good score, a score that wouldn’t make me mark this puppy off of our dog-adoption shopping list. But it does seem that the Maltese has some of that small-dog scrappy attitude, that willfulness of being around kids of all ages that takes a little bit of extra love. So, we’re calling the winner of the lovey-dovey category for the Boston terrier. Congratulations, little sir (or ma’am).

Who’s the Biggest Little Troublemaker?

Imagine you have left a Boston terrier and a Maltese alone in your apartment . . . unconfined. What are you going to find when you get back, and who did it?

First of all, before you get inside, your neighbor is going to say, “I heard your dog barking today. I think it was the little white one.” And indeed, Phyllis will be right, it was the little white one. Because of the two breeds, Maltese bark more. To be honest, this is a pretty common characteristic in small, feisty breeds. Call it their defense mechanism; they have a bark bigger than their bite. But overall, Maltese just bark at about an average level for dogs in general. However, the Boston terrier barks less than the average dog. They tend to observe silently, turning their head inquisitively and putting up their big ears to take in all the information they can. But they don’t bark their heads off. Actually, this is one of the reasons many people consider Boston terriers to be ideal urban pets.

Once you get inside the house, well there’s general chaos. Pillows chewed up. Plants turned over. Poo on the floor. Cat on top of the bookshelf, looking like he’s seen things that will haunt him for the rest of his remaining lives. Both of these dogs have separation anxiety when you leave them for too long. It’s not enough to leave them together or to put them in a fenced yard to play. They want to be with you, with all the fun and stimulation and yummy treats only you can provide. And you have no way to know which of them is the bigger mischief-maker because they are both incorrigible when they want to be.

So, the winner here is the Maltese, just because this breed barks slightly more than the Boston terrier. And that’s just the kind of pesky, trouble making our teenage girl referenced.

And the Clear, Obvious, Scientifically Proven Winner Is . . .

Um. Well, this is interesting. And unexpected. Neither one of these breeds is particularly awkward. They’re just gorgeous. They both love adults equally, but the Boston terrier is more loveable toward kids than the Maltese. And they both can get into tons of trouble, but the Maltese barks a little more than the Boston terrier. So, we kind of have a tie here. And we can’t have a tie.

So, that left us only one option. We went back to our teenage expert. And here’s what she said, in her smartest science-speak: “The Maltese is cuter.”

So, there you have it! In the case of Boston terrier vs. Maltese, the Maltese is the cuter dog. Sorry Boston terrier, but we are sure you will take this news with grace and dignity, you sweet little gentleman.

The photo featured at the top of this post is ©