How to Know When It’s the Right Time to Put Your Pet Down — and How to Heal From the Loss

The loss of a pet is felt deeply, no matter how much time you have to prepare. Putting down an elderly or ill pet is a decision that weighs heavily, and brings with it second-guesses, guilt, and, oftentimes, anticipatory grief. While the idea of death is something many pet owners don’t want to think about, becoming familiar with its emotional impact can help pet owners navigate when it’s time to make the hardest decision of their lives.

When is the Right Time to Consider Pet Euthanasia?

One of the hardest parts of losing a pet is knowing when the right time is to let them go. There’s no easy way to discuss pet euthanasia, and the idea of putting your pet down is one that many owners try to delay as much as possible. Understandably, the process is incredibly emotional — one that many experts would say is no different than grieving a friend or family member. “Losing a pet is an incredibly emotional experience, and one of the hardest decisions an owner may face is knowing when it’s the right time to say goodbye,” says Nick Horniman MRCVS, veterinary surgeon and founder of MyPetsVet, an online pet pharmacy.

Understandably, it’s difficult to see euthanasia as an act of kindness when the loss feels so monumental. The first thing to consider when you have a disabled or senior pet is their quality of life. Asking questions such as, “How are their eating habits?”, “Are they having difficulty walking or using the bathroom?”, “Is lethargy or a severe lack of energy part of their daily routine?” is helpful. It’s important to pay attention to your pet’s current behavior so that you can notice any noticeable decline.

“It’s important to look for changes in behavior, mobility, appetite, and overall enjoyment of life,” Horniman says. He goes on to explain that if a pet is no longer enjoying the activities they love, or pain management is no longer helping their quality of life, then euthanasia is the kindest option a pet owner may have.

Will Your Pet Give You Any Signs That It’s Time to Go?

Sometimes, owners intrinsically know their pet is suffering and the time to make a choice is nearing. Other times, it can be more difficult, especially if your pet is aging, but doesn’t seem to be suffering outright. The Animal Health Foundation offers helpful guides and worksheets for the process, which owners may find removes the emotional element while allowing them to observe their pet from a logical standpoint.

The Lap of Love Daily Assessment is a great place to start when it comes time to monitor your pet’s symptoms as they age. This chart is broken down into eight categories:

• Date
• Mobility
• Nutrition
• Hydration
• Interaction/Attitude
• Elimination
• Favorite Things
• Total & Daily Notes

Directly below this chart is a scale that helps pet owners determine the quality for each category, based on numbers from zero to two. When all of these are tallied up, the guide at the bottom is indicative of your pet’s overall health — and whether or not intervention might be needed.

While this Lap of Love Daily Assessment is a good way to monitor your pet’s behavior, it’s merely a starting place. Lap of Love encourages pet owners to add to this chart if necessary, keeping track of things such as respiratory rates or time spent sleeping if it’s helpful. Additionally, the scores on this chart can be altered by using half- and quarter-marks to gain further insight into how your pet is progressing.

If your pet’s overall quality of life is a concern, the Lap of Love Quality of Life Scale can provide a clear picture. Rather than recording scores for health, the Quality of Life Scale measures how much your pet can enjoy their life at a normal rate. This questionnaire is broken down into four sections:

• Social Functions: Interactions with family members and other pets
• Health: Outward signs of pain, changes in behavior, noticeable outcries
• Mental Health: Issues with memory, reactions to triggers, sleeping patterns
• Natural Functions: Appetite, bowel movements and urination patterns, mobility

Similar to the Daily Assessment, the Quality of Life Scale also provides a scoring system. Results can be tallied at the bottom, reflecting your pet’s behavioral changes. The bonus for this tracker is the bonus sheet below for Family Concerns. It’s easy to remember to monitor your pet’s mental health but in the process, the mental health of pet owners is often forgotten. The Family Concerns worksheet helps determine everyone’s mental state surrounding their pet, and when to get more support when needed. Lap of Love also encourages pet owners to bring these sheets with them to their vet visits; a physical record such as this helps to facilitate conversations that can otherwise be difficult to have.

What It Looks Like to Put Down a Pet, Step by Step

It’s one of the hardest things a pet owner will ever do. Knowing what will happen when it’s time to put your pet down won’t make the process easier, but it will help prepare owners when the time comes. Euthanasia is a scheduled procedure done by a veterinarian, and they will provide as much support, time, and guidance as needed. It’s helpful to ask any questions during this time, as your vet will be more than happy to be part of your temporary support system.

“When the time comes, the process is handled with care and sensitivity. We explain each step so owners know what to expect, from administering a gentle sedative to ensure pets are calm and comfortable, to the final injection, which is painless and peaceful,” says Horniman on the pre-procedure. He suggests talking to your pet throughout the entirety of the procedure because your voice can often be the most comforting thing a pet will hear. Speaking in a calm, gentle tone will help put them at ease, and talking can also help you through it all.

While every veterinarian will have a slightly different process, this is what it will usually look like from start to finish:

1. Your vet will explain the procedure in-depth and answer any questions you or your family may have.
2. Your pet will be comfortably situated on the exam table or the floor, depending on their size. This is when a blanket or other object from home might provide even more comfort for your pet.
3. Veterinarians are skilled in knowing how to handle pets so more often than not, they will hold them. Don’t worry — your vet will place you as close to your pet as possible during the procedure.
4. Sodium pentobarbital is used as the primary injection, which eases your pet into an unconscious state before slowing down and eventually stopping the heart.
5. After this is done, the veterinarian will check for a heartbeat before providing you with a few minutes alone with your pet.

Some additional things to note:

• Occasionally, a sedative is used to calm pets and allow for an easy injection.
• A catheter is sometimes used to prevent veins from rupturing during the injection and is normal.
• Some twitching or movement is possible after the injection and is a normal part of the process.
• Pet euthanasia can be done at home, but is often a costly procedure.

It’s so important to remember that your veterinarian fully understands the gravity of going through such a traumatic event. Feeling emotional, crying, and grieving are all very normal, and are nothing your vet has not seen before. While it can be uncomfortable, it’s also important to be there for your pet, as you are the thing they love most, and your mere presence is the biggest comfort you can offer.

“While it can be incredibly hard to be there during euthanasia,” Horniman says, “your presence is comforting for your pet in their final moments.”

What To Expect Following the Loss

The emotional toll losing a pet can take on a person is no different than that of losing a family member, according to Elreacy Dock, MS, a thanatologist and certified grief educator. “Our pets are a source of unconditional love and companionship, so experiencing pet loss can have an intense psychological impact and destabilize our routines,” says Dock. “Our society doesn’t proactively acknowledge the intense emotions associated with the death of a pet, so many people experience disenfranchised grief due to a lack of validation and recognition surrounding the significance of the loss.”

Feeling the loss of your pet can be overwhelming, and it’s a heaviness that can sometimes feel debilitating. It’s not uncommon to feel emotions such as sadness, anger, confusion, or even guilt after the loss of a pet according to Dock, as these are all very normal phases to shift through. “Grief may also manifest with physical symptoms such as fatigue, anxiety, nausea, changes in appetite, or changes in sleep quality,” she explains, going on to add that grief may manifest as brain fog or even ruminating thoughts.

There’s no “one size fits all” approach to dealing with the loss of your pet. This means there is also no right or wrong way to go about moving through the grief that comes with the loss. Starting small, with minor routines that can provide comfort and just enough structure, is a good place to start. “Maintaining small routines is one way to maintain a sense of stability and familiarity in the absence of our pets. This can be simple, such as adhering to a specific time to have a meal or walk. Finding ways to incorporate the memory of our pets into our routine can also be helpful,” says Dock.

She adds that you may find it helpful to create a memorial space in your home for an urn or small keepsakes or turn to a nurturing activity, such as planting a tree or flowers in your pet’s memory. “Grief often arrives in waves when we least expect it, so patience and permitting ourselves to grieve is essential. Taking that additional time to cry, reflect, journal, or find other ways to express these emotions can be helpful in reclaiming routines and the significant effort of continuing to make progress after a loss has occurred.”

If you find that you’re struggling to move past the loss of your pet and performing daily activities is increasingly difficult, consult a mental health professional for additional next steps.